On The Player’s Tribune on November 15, the Brazilian player who is about to attend the 2022 World Cup, Antony told about the difficulty of being born in a slum, likening the joy of playing football to being a gift from heaven.
I was born in hell – no kidding.
To European friends I’ve never heard of, the favela – the slum in which I grew up in Sao Paulo – is known as “Inferninho” – Little Hell. If you want to understand who I am, you need to know where I come from: My past, my origins. It’s Inferninho!
It was a scandalous place. A few steps from my house is the operating area of a group of drug dealers, hand in hand! So close that their smell often thickens around my windows. One of my earliest memories is of my father leaving the house on Sunday to scold the bad guys to go away and “work”, because we kids wanted to watch a football game.
We were so used to guns that we didn’t feel afraid to look at them. Guns are just a part of everyday life. We were more afraid of the police coming knocking on our door. Once, they shouted and rushed into my house to find someone. Of course they won’t find anything, but with a child, those moments will be imprinted in the mind.
There are many things I have witnessed, only those who have experienced it can understand. When I was 8 or 9 years old, I met a dead body on the way to school. In favela, you gradually become insensitive to those things, because there is no other way to school? So I closed my eyes and walked over the dead man.
I’m not telling this story to try to be cool, because it’s my reality. In fact, I always said that I was very lucky as a kid because despite all the hardships, I still received a gift from heaven. The ball is my savior, my love since I was in the cradle. At Inferninho, we don’t care about Christmas toys. Just a ball rolling is great.
Every day, my brother would take me to the square to play football. At favela, everyone plays football. From young and old, from construction workers, drivers to a bunch of rogues. Here, everyone is the same age. In my father’s time, football fields were dusty pieces of land. In my day, the sanctuary was a concrete courtyard. At first, I played with bare feet, covered in blood. But then, where did I get the money to buy good shoes? I am small, but in return dribble as the will of God. Dribbling has always been a passion for me, it’s like an instinct. And I refuse to bow to anyone. Whether it’s criminals, drivers or thieves, I don’t care, fight! With the ball at my feet, I have no fear!
I learned tricks from legends like Ronaldinho, Neymar and Cristiano. I watch them all the time on Youtube, thanks to my uncle Toniolo. He’s not my real uncle, but this neighbor treats me like family. When I was a kid, my uncle let me use wifi to go to Youtube and “learn” soccer. My first video game was also a gift from Toniolo. If there were two loaves of bread, he would keep only one for himself and share the rest with us. That’s what people don’t understand about favela: For every bad person, it’s compensated by two good people.
I always say that I grew up in the wrong place, but the right person. When I was 8 years old, the first god of luck came to visit while I was playing in the square. As I was dancing in front of the criminals, a man watched intently. After a while, he turned to everyone and asked:
“Who’s that kid?”
“That kid? Antony.”
It turned out to be the Director of Gremio Barueri. He gave me my first chance to leave the slums and play for the futsal team. Since then I started to dream. I remember one day I was walking with my mother when I saw a cool red car passing by. It’s just a Range Rover, but to me it’s like a Ferrari. It was so cool that everyone had to look back, and I turned to my mother and said: “Mom, one day when I become a player, I will buy that car”.
Of course, my mother burst out laughing when she heard me say that to the little boy. But I am very serious: “Mother rest assured, after a while I will let you drive with me”.
At that time, I still slept with my parents, because I didn’t have money to buy my own bed. Every night, turn to one side and see your mother, turn to the other side to see your father. We’re extremely close, and that’s what helped us through the hard times. Then one day, my parents decided to break up. It was the most difficult moment of my life because at least before that, my family had each other. Now when I look at my mother’s bed, she is no longer there.
It’s a painful feeling, but it also gives me a lot of motivation. I often close my eyes and say to myself, “I’m going to get the whole family out of this.” My father used to leave home for work at five o’clock in the morning and return late at night. I used to tell him, “I’m working hard for you right now, but soon, you’ll take care of me.”
If you talk to the media, they will always ask you about your dreams. From the Champions League, the World Cup to the European Golden Ball. But to me, they are goals, not dreams. My only dream is to get my parents out of the slums. There’s no such thing as a plan B.
At the age of 14, I had a chance in Sao Paulo. Every day after school, I would go to the academy with an empty stomach. There are beautiful days when my friends and I pool money to buy a cake on the way home. I don’t have to pretend to be hungry for motivation, because I’m really hungry!
Deep down inside I have an urge, call it rage. I had a problem with controlling my emotions and was almost sent off three times. Fortunately, on all three occasions, someone came forward to bail me out, begging to keep me. Everything is God’s plan. I am very slim, but always play with “fire eyes”. It was the ferocity of the street, which couldn’t be faked. People thought I was joking when they heard that I was still living in favela after making my debut with the Sao Paulo first team. But it’s true: At 18, I still sleep in the same bed as my dad. Maybe lying on a chair?
In 2019, after scoring against Corinthians in the Sao Paulo state championship final – Paulista, I went home. People around pointed at me: “Hey kid, I just saw you on TV. What are you doing here?”
I replied, “Brother, I live here”. Everyone who heard it laughed, probably thought I was joking.
A year later, I was playing in the Champions League with Ajax. Everything changes so fast. Not only did I have my own bed, but I also bought my mother a red Range Rover. I reminded her of the old story: “You see, I said I could do it”.
When I was 10 years old, when I said that, my mother laughed. And now when she hears that story again, she bursts into tears. I went from the slums to Ajax to Man Utd in three years. People often ask me how I changed my life so quickly. Honestly, the key to my success is never feeling pressured, nor afraid. What’s there to fear in football when you’ve had to walk over dead bodies on your way to school? Things I’ve seen, even in a dream, commentators can’t even imagine. There are things that haunt you for the rest of your life.
In life, we have to suffer, to worry, to cry. But in football it is different. With the ball at your feet, the only thing you should feel is joy. I was born a dribbler. That’s who I am, the gift that brought me from the slums to Old Trafford – Theater of Dreams. I will never change the way I play, because it’s not just a style, it’s who I am. It is also part of the Brazilian people.
Antony shows off his talent in Sao Paulo.
If you only watch 10 second clips of me, you will never understand. None of my moves are a joke, everything has a purpose: going forward, instilling fear in the opponent, creating space, making a difference for the team. If you think I’m a clown, you probably don’t understand my story. The art of Ronaldinho, Cristiano and Neymar has inspired me since childhood. I watched those Saints with their mouths open in amazement, before going out onto the concrete yard and trying to recreate their genius.
Even if you were born in hell, it’s still a gift from heaven.
When people ask: “What’s the purpose of your gameplay? What message do you want to send?”. The answer is that I am sending a message home. In Europe, where every dinner table has bread, people sometimes forget that football is just a game. A great game, but it’s just a game. New life is fierce, or at least it is for those born in hell like me.
I always say that wherever I go and whatever happens, I will still represent the place that taught me all. Without a hometown and family, everything would be meaningless. The shoes I wear every game have the words “Favela” written on them. And so, every time I tie my shoes, I remember everything.
That’s my story, and if you still don’t understand me or think I’m a clown, I’ll point to the words in my hand: “Anyone from favela will know a part of what I’ve been through. via”.
Those words speak for me, and for all of us.
